A sleeve is generally considered to have fallen short when you lost less than 50% of your excess weight at appropriate follow-up, or when the weight came back after you got there. That's the threshold in the revision literature, and it's the one I work with (Brethauer et al., ASMBS Revision Task Force, SOARD 2014).
But the number on your scale is only one of the ways a sleeve fails. Severe reflux that showed up after surgery counts. Grade C or D esophagitis counts. Type 2 diabetes that never went into remission counts. A complication from the first operation counts. Any one of those changes the conversation as much as the weight does.
Here's the part almost nobody tells you: the scary regain statistics you've been reading are not one statistic. In a large prospective US cohort of bypass patients, the share of people counted as having "regained" five years past their lowest weight was 43.6%, 50.2%, or 67.3% — same patients, same follow-up, three different thresholds (King et al., JAMA 2018). That study was in gastric bypass patients, not sleeve patients, so don't apply the exact figures to yourself. Apply the lesson: whoever quoted you a regain percentage picked a definition, and they probably didn't tell you which one.
So before I call anything a failure, I want to know when your lowest weight was, how far you've come back from it, and whether anything else broke. Not how disciplined you've been.